Your breath is rank
Your eyes are crossed
and there’s green stuff on your nose
Your hair’s a mess
Your make-up’s run
And there’s puke upon your clothes
But I’m staring at you, dribbling
And my eye can’t help but wink
Cos you’re looking more goddamn horny
With every drop I drink
One More Pint of Lager for the road
One More shot of Whiskey ‘fore I go
Do a harmonica solo
Your daddy he’s my bez mate
He let me scrounge a tab
His body trembles as he calls out
For another shish kebab
As I pissed in his neighbour’s doorway
He was screaming at the moon
So I punched him in the face
And ran off laughing like a loon
One more pint of lager through my lips
One more shot of whiskey ‘fore I slip
Into a coma
Your sister’s got no future
She’s sixteen and on the shelf
I’d show her what a real man is
But this beer won’t drink itself
And that bastard standing at the bar
Keeps on begging for a scrap
I’d glass him in a minute
But my legs have turned to crap
One more pint of lager for the road
One more quart of bourbon ‘fore I go
Back on stage